Spring is in the air…

And after nearly two years of parental leave, I’m back at work. It’s a weird feeling, coming back to the colleagues (who haven’t changed) and tasks (which are still something we need to do REALLY SOON!). Old problems resurface and I find myself struggling to defend myself against the negativity going around in these halls. There has been a change in the top management and hence there is a lot of insecurity and anger going around. It’s so easy to fall back into old ways and routines, especially since these work-related themes are the one thing I can connect with my colleagues about. But the longer I’m back, the more I realize that I’m really through with these feelings. I don’t want them anymore.

I try not to let them too deep inside. I probably won’t manage to keep them all out but there are two major things I can use to strengthen myself: keeping body and mind as clear as possible.

Keeping my body clean also has the nice side effect of losing a bit of weight – vegan fasting, definitely recommendable 😉 I’m not too fastidious, though. Basically it contains of an oatmeal/porridge breakfast with a lot of fruit, a salad, a bowl of soup and potatoes for lunch and dinner – but if the appetite is too big I’m not above drinking cocoa or eating bread. (Or a donut.) But I’ve reduced my sugar and gluten (and coffee) intake considerably and I feel. So. Good. And Leander tells me, I look radiant! ^_^ Tonight, I’m going to the sauna with two friends – detoxing deluxe! Also, I’ve started dancing (Tribal fusion) and it’s wonderful!

Keeping my mind and spirit clean proves a bit harder, especially since I’ve got so much on my mind. But I have a real yearning for calmness, spiritual connection and deepening, reading what I can find, trying to find short moments of calmness, meditation and conciousness. I really need to use my Tarot again. And I’m planning on remaking our balcony: more plants, more beauty, more awesomeness for little „nearly a garden“ breaks in between. 🙂

These years of parental leave have been the best thing I’ve ever had. We needn’t worry about money and had all the time in the world together. What these months have done to our family is irreplaceable and I wouldn’t want to miss them for anything. But now I have the task to finding back into a daily routine including going to the office thrice a week and I find myself somewhat at a loss, having to bring work time, family time, partner time and me time together. The days seem so very, very short. It’s clear that I need a better organization (and self control), especially when it comes to the things I really want to do but can’t seem to manage. Like reading my blogs. Like writing (yes, that includes this blog…). Like creating and having creative input. Like improving my skills. Everything seems so piled up that I can’t seem to get anything done. Where to start?

So I started making a list with the first things I want to make. That includes little things like „Answering S.’s email“. Each day I want to tick one thing off the list so the pile gets smaller every day. Bit by bit. Step by step.

What do you do when you’re feeling overwhelmed? Any advice?

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